projects:barjokes
Unterschiede
Hier werden die Unterschiede zwischen zwei Versionen angezeigt.
Beide Seiten der vorigen RevisionVorhergehende ÜberarbeitungNächste Überarbeitung | Vorhergehende ÜberarbeitungNächste ÜberarbeitungBeide Seiten der Revision | ||
projects:barjokes [2012-02-25 12:30] – 109.192.98.64 | projects:barjokes [2012-03-02 16:36] – 109.192.98.64 | ||
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====== Projekt Barjokes ====== | ====== Projekt Barjokes ====== | ||
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Gesucht werden Witze nach dem Motto "XYZ walks into a bar". | Gesucht werden Witze nach dem Motto "XYZ walks into a bar". | ||
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* A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, " | * A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, " | ||
* A urologist walks into a bar and sits down. " | * A urologist walks into a bar and sits down. " | ||
- | * A dead battery walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Are you positive you want one?" the bartender asks. The dead battery answers, "Yep! and charge it too!" I | + | * A dead battery walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Are you positive you want one?" the bartender asks. The dead battery answers, "Yep! and charge it too!" I An older gentleman walks into a bar with an attractive, 21 year old girlfriend on his arm. As he orders their drinks, bar patrons in yell " |
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* Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers and says, Here, you guys work it out. | * Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers and says, Here, you guys work it out. | ||
* A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve superconductors here." The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance. | * A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve superconductors here." The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance. | ||
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* A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads " | * A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads " | ||
* A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, "Why did you do that?" And the guy replies, " Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!" | * A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, "Why did you do that?" And the guy replies, " Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!" | ||
- | * A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor are sitting in a bar, across the street from a brothel. They are sipping their drinks when they see a rabbi walk in to the brothel. "Oy! It's awful to see a man of the cloth give into temptation", | + | * A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor are sitting in a bar, across the street from a brothel. They are sipping their drinks when they see a rabbi walk in to the brothel. "Oy! It's awful to see a man of the cloth give into temptation", |
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- | In a little bit, they see a priest enter the brothel. | + | |
- | " | + | |
* A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home. "Back in me pub in Glasgow," | * A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home. "Back in me pub in Glasgow," | ||
+ | * So a guy walks into a bar, looking really moody and orders immediately a double-whiskey. Then he starts rambling on about how lousy a wife he's got, until the bartender finally says: "You know, I don't understand what you're complaining about. All the other guys in here only have compliments about your wife." | ||
+ | * A skunk walks into a bar and he says, "Hey where did everybody go?" | ||
+ | * A potato walks into a bar and all eyes were on him! | ||
+ | * Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?" | ||
+ | * A termite walks into a bar and says is the bartender here? | ||
+ | * A hamburger and a french fry walk into a bar. The bartender says, " | ||
+ | * A guy walks into a bar. There' | ||
+ | * What do you call a Bohemian that gets thrown out of a bar? - A bounced Czech | ||
+ | * A Monsanto sales guy walks into a bar. "Next round' | ||
+ | * A nonrenewable natural resource walks in to a bar and orders a tall glass of whiskey. The bar tender says "sorry friend, I cant serve YOU; you have been getting wasted all day long!" | ||
+ | * So, Thomas Edison walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Okay, I'll serve you a beer, just don't get any ideas." | ||
+ | * So.... a baby seal walked into a club... | ||
+ | * An amnesiac walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you today?" | ||
+ | * A guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks, " | ||
+ | * So Jesus walks into a bar and says, " | ||
+ | * A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, | ||
+ | * A guy walks into a bar and pulls a tiny grand piano out of his pocket. Then he pulls out a little guy who site down and begins to play. " | ||
+ | * Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!" | ||
+ | * Guy walks into a bar and yells, "All lawyers are A-holes" | ||
+ | * Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. | ||